My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
