I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize