Don't you send me to vm
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
