so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
