He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize