who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
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