Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
