What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
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