I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
