If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
