hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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