I'm laying in your front yard are you home
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
