your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
