Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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