Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
