either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
