At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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