My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
