Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize