Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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