I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
