im gay
i know
yea but for you.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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