you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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