somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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