Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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