Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
