I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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