that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
You've changed since you got that strap on
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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