The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
