Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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