Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
