Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
