Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize