He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
