Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
