sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
