So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
