haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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