once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
