I'm gonna have a badass scar
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
