Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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