where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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