you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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