I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I look better un-naked...
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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