My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I think i got beer on your cat.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
