Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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