She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
