you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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