So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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