What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
