I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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