and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
