My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize