Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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