i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
