why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
