i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
