cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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