why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Randomize
