My room smells like vodka and shame
I think my vagina is haunted
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
