FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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