i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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